I sat in church fighting back the tears but ultimately giving in. They flowed freely down my face.
My thoughts drifted back to the Jewish Proverb my grandmother had on her flip-calendar the day she died, “Tears are for the soul what soap is for the body”. So I allowed the tears do their job.
Something about communion gets me every time. It never did this when I was younger, but as an adult…it’s so much more. His body, His blood…so real to me in the tender moments of the Lord’s Supper. So close He feels. Such a sacrifice He made to die on a cross. To save me; my Savior.
It was dark, the music was beautiful and my soul…my soul was deep with my Lord. My heart and my head all in alignment with Him. Honoring His sacrifice and saving act. Eating His body- praying I feed only on Him; to eat of Him alone. Drinking His blood- after spilling some on my dress- praying I only thirst for Him, long for Him and nothing else, to let Him fill my cup. To drink from Him and be drunk on His Spirit alone.
So personal. So close. Such love and grace I felt as my soul washed away doubts, anger, fear…anything that wasn’t of Him. I wanted to stay in that place it felt so safe and full, so real and awesome. Just meditating on what He did for me, His love for me…and then it was over, and it was back to reality…the business of life, the rush of getting kids and going out to eat with three little ones.
The rest of the day I longed for that place, that sweet time with Jesus my risen Savior, my Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace.
I long for Him.
Those moments tucked deep within my soul and faith but ever present and life-changing for today because of the beauty and growth brought from the simple reminder of what He did for me- for us. Because He is real, and He loves us, is for us and wants us.
His body, Hid blood, his grace and His love. Lean into it today my spirit I pray!
Thank you for the cross, Lord, but mostly thank you for your plan. One that didn’t stop on that dark Friday of death. One that unfolded in the resurrection of our King. One so beautiful no one saw it coming. One of redemption with a Gift bearing gifts for us whenever and forever- Your Spirit and life eternal. You are so good.
“My soul yearns, even faints for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.” Psalm 84:2