So…yesterday our state announced they are pushing back the school start date to the week of Aug 24. We were to go back Aug 13.
I might have cried a little.
School was a light at the end of this Covid tunnel for me. A place where chaos can end and normalcy begin again. A time to “get it together” and for everyone to be on a schedule and routine.
One lie I believe, although there is some truth to it, is that I can’t get anything done with all 3 kids in the house (or anywhere near the house). A statement I read last week by a fellow mom blogger resonated so well with me, “Everything I do gets undone.” Yes. That is it in a nutshell.
I also get easily overwhelmed at all I am to be doing with my children– are they drinking enough water every day? (no) Are they eating a good balanced diet? (not always) Did they take their vitamins today? (maybe) Oops did I even feed them breakfast? (mostly) Did they clean their rooms? (nope) Brush their teeth? (there’s always tomorrow) Get off devices? (nope)
Also, maybe if they aren’t here all the time I won’t feel like I’m failing in so many ways.
It’s just all so much sometimes. Somedays I feel the pressure more than others and want to find a dark corner in the house and hide. (anyone else!??)
I’ve learned of myself, I’m not as consistently self-disciplined or motivated as I want to be and crave the routine and structure the school year brings. But I’ve also learned that I am looking to something else- school- to help me “get it together” and feel normal and in some sort of control.
All these things I’m craving- calm, joy, peace, control, consistency, normal, etc…can be found only in the Lord and Him working in my heart. Nothing else.
He can and will help me create calm, normal and routine in my own home. He will help me endure when all I want to do is not. He will help me set boundaries that are different with each child and say NO instead of this famous “whatever” I’ve had going on for a few months. He will help me care when I don’t feel like I do. He will help me lower my expectations of myself, this time, this world, my kids and my husband.
He is the One. The Answer, the Help, the Hope I need to endure and persevere no matter when we go back to school.
Father God, forgive me of my many weaknesses but thank You for big spaces for You to move and work in my life and my home. May I look to You and nothing else for calm, consistency, routine…may your Holy Spirit equip me to do as You’ve called Your children to do– endure no matter what. May my yes be yes and my no be no. All things through Your Son, Jesus. In His name I pray, AMEN!